<%

Function googleColor(value, random)
Dim colorArray
colorArray = Split(value, ",")
googleColor = colorArray(random Mod (UBound(colorArray) + 1))
End Function

Function googleScreenRes()
Dim screenRes, delimiter, resArray
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_UA_PIXELS")
delimiter = "x"
If IsEmpty(screenRes) Then
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_UP_DEVCAP_SCREENPIXELS")
delimiter = ","
End If
If IsEmpty(screenRes) Then
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_JPHONE_DISPLAY")
delimiter = "*"
End If
resArray = Split(screenRes, delimiter, 2)
If (UBound(resArray) + 1) = 2 Then
googleScreenRes = "&u_w=" & resArray(0) & "&u_h=" & resArray(1)
End If
End Function

Function googleMuid()
Dim muid
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_DCMGUID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_UP_SUBNO")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_JPHONE_UID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_EM_UID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
End Function

Function googleViaAndAccept(googleUserAgent)
If Len(googleUserAgent) = 0 Then
Dim via
via = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_VIA"))
If Not IsEmpty(via) Then
googleViaAndAccept = "&via=" & via
End If
Dim accept
accept = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_ACCEPT"))
If Not IsEmpty(accept) Then
googleViaAndAccept = googleViaAndAccept & "&accept=" & accept
End If
End If
End Function

Dim googleTime, googleDt, googleScheme
googleTime = DateDiff("s", "01/01/1970 00:00:00", Now())
googleDt = (1000 * googleTime) + Round(1000 * (Timer - Int(Timer)))
googleScheme = "http://"
googleUserAgent = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_USER_AGENT"))
If StrComp(Request.ServerVariables("HTTPS"), "on") = 0 Then googleScheme = "https://"

Dim googleAdUrl, googleAdOutput
googleAdUrl = "http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?" &_
"ad_type=text_image" &_
"&channel=9023625576" &_
"&client=ca-mb-pub-4358087609054310" &_
"&color_border=" & googleColor("6699CC", googleTime) &_
"&color_bg=" & googleColor("003366", googleTime) &_
"&color_link=" & googleColor("FFFFFF", googleTime) &_
"&color_text=" & googleColor("AECCEB", googleTime) &_
"&color_url=" & googleColor("AECCEB", googleTime) &_
"&dt=" & googleDt &_
"&format=mobile_single" &_
"&ip=" & Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("REMOTE_ADDR")) &_
"&markup=xhtml" &_
"&oe=utf8" &_
"&output=xhtml" &_
"&ref=" & Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_REFERER")) &_
"&url=" & Server.URLEncode(googleScheme & Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_HOST") & Request.ServerVariables("URL")) &_
"&useragent=" & googleUserAgent &_
googleScreenRes() &_
googleMuid() &_
googleViaAndAccept(googleUserAgent)

Set googleAdOutput = Server.CreateObject("MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP")
googleAdOutput.Open "GET", googleAdUrl, false
googleAdOutput.Send
Response.Write(googleAdOutput.responseText)

%>

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I have never put it out there before but I must release the past for good! This is exciting! GOODBYE!

You walked in my life
I fell hard for you
You took control of my life
I let you
You hurt me by cheating
I stayed faithful
You verbally abused me
I destroyed myself because I began to believe you
You hurt my family
I hurt my family because of your manipulation
You made me think and feel I was not sane
I acted out of the strongest sense of pain and anger that would not go away
You would not let me go and said all the right words
I let you back in a thousand times
You forced disbelief in myself
You weakened me to your puppet
You broke my heart a million times
I had forgotten how to love
You convinced me my friends only wanted us apart
I believed you and you became my best friend who hurt me the most
You humiliated me in private as well as public
I was ashamed to show my face
You took me out of me
I no longer knew who I was
You told me you loved someone else
I left my heart in pieces at your feet and finally left for good
You continued to try to control me
I could not escape it
You still used your words to pursuade me of downgrade
I seeked for the wrong fixes
You continued to talk me down
I was up but still did not believe
You never stopped saying you were better and more powerful
I began to ignore you
You took advantage of me
I was disgusted
You tried to offer kindness because your control over me was lost
I accepted giving you control once again
You started over with the verbal abuse but now my most important blessing was at stake
I had enough and I freed myself from you to protect her
You still try to take control
I will not allow it

I am in control of my life
I am standing
I am strong
I know me again
I know love again
I teach as well as I have learned
I am truly content without forcing it
I would never accept your ignorance
I choose never to listen to your words
I know you for your names selfish, arrogant, ignorant, small, defeated, abuser, follower, dissappointment, egotistical
I forgive and feel sorry for you despite it all and I pray for you to change and accept better inside because the outside has been ugly too long. I pray for this only because you share part of a person with me who is the most important and biggest blessing in my life and now I understand that God had a purpose and picked us to make her and your self created mess I had to go through so she will never have to. And for her it was worth it!
I know you will always continue to try but you will never steal my joy again!
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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Some things are hard to look past but we must remember where are strength comes from.....our faith.

I am sruggling from a strong curse of disappointment. Its a tough situation to meet someone and have some really good times with them and think things are going well when you hit a bump in the road and everything goes off track. I ran into someone whom I haven`t seen in years and we go on a date and things go very well. They go well for a few weeks then all of a sudden you notice change. The person isn`t calling as much or wanting to see you as much. What happens in that time period. Why can something go so well and then crash as if something bad happened but you have no acknowledgement of it? WHy is someone unable to share this with you. I am a very honest person and I may be at fault for this. I just don`t think I will ever understand why this is not received in return. I believe if you are dating someone and something changes you should atleast have respect for them and let them know if it is something that bothers you or if you don`t think you see eye to eye with them. I don`t think you should just ignore the situation until it goes away. Its extremely disrespectful. These days time is crucial and feelings should be a consideration. If it doesn`t work out it doesn`t but atleast verbalize your thoughts to an extent so tat there is a mutual understanding. Each day in your life is an experience and we learn from every one of them, no one should be mad or angry if its not there we just need to all respect one another and be honest people and respect eachother. Disappointment can be upsetting especially when you grow to care about another person. I choose to always be upfront and honest so why can`t everyone follow that lead?
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