You walked in my life
I fell hard for you
You took control of my life
I let you
You hurt me by cheating
I stayed faithful
You verbally abused me
I destroyed myself because I began to believe you
You hurt my family
I hurt my family because of your manipulation
You made me think and feel I was not sane
I acted out of the strongest sense of pain and anger that would not go away
You would not let me go and said all the right words
I let you back in a thousand times
You forced disbelief in myself
You weakened me to your puppet
You broke my heart a million times
I had forgotten how to love
You convinced me my friends only wanted us apart
I believed you and you became my best friend who hurt me the most
You humiliated me in private as well as public
I was ashamed to show my face
You took me out of me
I no longer knew who I was
You told me you loved someone else
I left my heart in pieces at your feet and finally left for good
You continued to try to control me
I could not escape it
You still used your words to pursuade me of downgrade
I seeked for the wrong fixes
You continued to talk me down
I was up but still did not believe
You never stopped saying you were better and more powerful
I began to ignore you
You took advantage of me
I was disgusted
You tried to offer kindness because your control over me was lost
I accepted giving you control once again
You started over with the verbal abuse but now my most important blessing was at stake
I had enough and I freed myself from you to protect her
You still try to take control
I will not allow it
I am in control of my life
I am standing
I am strong
I know me again
I know love again
I teach as well as I have learned
I am truly content without forcing it
I would never accept your ignorance
I choose never to listen to your words
I know you for your names selfish, arrogant, ignorant, small, defeated, abuser, follower, dissappointment, egotistical
I forgive and feel sorry for you despite it all and I pray for you to change and accept better inside because the outside has been ugly too long. I pray for this only because you share part of a person with me who is the most important and biggest blessing in my life and now I understand that God had a purpose and picked us to make her and your self created mess I had to go through so she will never have to. And for her it was worth it!
I know you will always continue to try but you will never steal my joy again!
I often have thought or inspirational messages I like to share with others. Feel free to share your thoughts as well, I love to listen!
<%
Function googleColor(value, random)
Dim colorArray
colorArray = Split(value, ",")
googleColor = colorArray(random Mod (UBound(colorArray) + 1))
End Function
Function googleScreenRes()
Dim screenRes, delimiter, resArray
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_UA_PIXELS")
delimiter = "x"
If IsEmpty(screenRes) Then
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_UP_DEVCAP_SCREENPIXELS")
delimiter = ","
End If
If IsEmpty(screenRes) Then
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_JPHONE_DISPLAY")
delimiter = "*"
End If
resArray = Split(screenRes, delimiter, 2)
If (UBound(resArray) + 1) = 2 Then
googleScreenRes = "&u_w=" & resArray(0) & "&u_h=" & resArray(1)
End If
End Function
Function googleMuid()
Dim muid
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_DCMGUID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_UP_SUBNO")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_JPHONE_UID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_EM_UID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
End Function
Function googleViaAndAccept(googleUserAgent)
If Len(googleUserAgent) = 0 Then
Dim via
via = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_VIA"))
If Not IsEmpty(via) Then
googleViaAndAccept = "&via=" & via
End If
Dim accept
accept = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_ACCEPT"))
If Not IsEmpty(accept) Then
googleViaAndAccept = googleViaAndAccept & "&accept=" & accept
End If
End If
End Function
Dim googleTime, googleDt, googleScheme
googleTime = DateDiff("s", "01/01/1970 00:00:00", Now())
googleDt = (1000 * googleTime) + Round(1000 * (Timer - Int(Timer)))
googleScheme = "http://"
googleUserAgent = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_USER_AGENT"))
If StrComp(Request.ServerVariables("HTTPS"), "on") = 0 Then googleScheme = "https://"
Dim googleAdUrl, googleAdOutput
googleAdUrl = "http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?" &_
"ad_type=text_image" &_
"&channel=9023625576" &_
"&client=ca-mb-pub-4358087609054310" &_
"&color_border=" & googleColor("6699CC", googleTime) &_
"&color_bg=" & googleColor("003366", googleTime) &_
"&color_link=" & googleColor("FFFFFF", googleTime) &_
"&color_text=" & googleColor("AECCEB", googleTime) &_
"&color_url=" & googleColor("AECCEB", googleTime) &_
"&dt=" & googleDt &_
"&format=mobile_single" &_
"&ip=" & Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("REMOTE_ADDR")) &_
"&markup=xhtml" &_
"&oe=utf8" &_
"&output=xhtml" &_
"&ref=" & Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_REFERER")) &_
"&url=" & Server.URLEncode(googleScheme & Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_HOST") & Request.ServerVariables("URL")) &_
"&useragent=" & googleUserAgent &_
googleScreenRes() &_
googleMuid() &_
googleViaAndAccept(googleUserAgent)
Set googleAdOutput = Server.CreateObject("MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP")
googleAdOutput.Open "GET", googleAdUrl, false
googleAdOutput.Send
Response.Write(googleAdOutput.responseText)
%>
Function googleColor(value, random)
Dim colorArray
colorArray = Split(value, ",")
googleColor = colorArray(random Mod (UBound(colorArray) + 1))
End Function
Function googleScreenRes()
Dim screenRes, delimiter, resArray
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_UA_PIXELS")
delimiter = "x"
If IsEmpty(screenRes) Then
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_UP_DEVCAP_SCREENPIXELS")
delimiter = ","
End If
If IsEmpty(screenRes) Then
screenRes = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_JPHONE_DISPLAY")
delimiter = "*"
End If
resArray = Split(screenRes, delimiter, 2)
If (UBound(resArray) + 1) = 2 Then
googleScreenRes = "&u_w=" & resArray(0) & "&u_h=" & resArray(1)
End If
End Function
Function googleMuid()
Dim muid
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_DCMGUID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_UP_SUBNO")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_JPHONE_UID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
muid = Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_X_EM_UID")
If Not IsEmpty(muid) Then
googleMuid = "&muid=" & muid
End If
End Function
Function googleViaAndAccept(googleUserAgent)
If Len(googleUserAgent) = 0 Then
Dim via
via = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_VIA"))
If Not IsEmpty(via) Then
googleViaAndAccept = "&via=" & via
End If
Dim accept
accept = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_ACCEPT"))
If Not IsEmpty(accept) Then
googleViaAndAccept = googleViaAndAccept & "&accept=" & accept
End If
End If
End Function
Dim googleTime, googleDt, googleScheme
googleTime = DateDiff("s", "01/01/1970 00:00:00", Now())
googleDt = (1000 * googleTime) + Round(1000 * (Timer - Int(Timer)))
googleScheme = "http://"
googleUserAgent = Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_USER_AGENT"))
If StrComp(Request.ServerVariables("HTTPS"), "on") = 0 Then googleScheme = "https://"
Dim googleAdUrl, googleAdOutput
googleAdUrl = "http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/ads?" &_
"ad_type=text_image" &_
"&channel=9023625576" &_
"&client=ca-mb-pub-4358087609054310" &_
"&color_border=" & googleColor("6699CC", googleTime) &_
"&color_bg=" & googleColor("003366", googleTime) &_
"&color_link=" & googleColor("FFFFFF", googleTime) &_
"&color_text=" & googleColor("AECCEB", googleTime) &_
"&color_url=" & googleColor("AECCEB", googleTime) &_
"&dt=" & googleDt &_
"&format=mobile_single" &_
"&ip=" & Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("REMOTE_ADDR")) &_
"&markup=xhtml" &_
"&oe=utf8" &_
"&output=xhtml" &_
"&ref=" & Server.URLEncode(Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_REFERER")) &_
"&url=" & Server.URLEncode(googleScheme & Request.ServerVariables("HTTP_HOST") & Request.ServerVariables("URL")) &_
"&useragent=" & googleUserAgent &_
googleScreenRes() &_
googleMuid() &_
googleViaAndAccept(googleUserAgent)
Set googleAdOutput = Server.CreateObject("MSXML2.ServerXMLHTTP")
googleAdOutput.Open "GET", googleAdUrl, false
googleAdOutput.Send
Response.Write(googleAdOutput.responseText)
%>
